The Workaholic's Closet: Why We Hide Our Hours Like Secret Addictions

"Oh, I just wrapped up a few things" you say casually when your partner asks why you're still at your laptop at 9 PM. What you don't mention is that those "few things" were actually the tail end of an 11-hour workday that started before your first cup of coffee.

Sound familiar?

I've been thinking about this lately because I keep hearing the same sheepish confessions from my clients. They tell me about their work habits the way some women whisper about their shopping sprees – with a mix of pride and shame, like they're admitting to a secret addiction.

And honestly? That comparison isn't far off.

The Performance Theatre We Create

Here's what I've noticed: many successful women I work with have become masters of what I call "performance theatre."

They've curated this image of effortless success – posting about work-life balance on LinkedIn while secretly answering emails in the bathroom. They'll mention they're "staying a bit late to finish up" when they're actually pulling their third 12-hour day this week.

Why do we do this? Because we're caught in the most exhausting double bind imaginable.

On one hand, we're proud of our work ethic. It's probably what got us where we are.

We built our businesses, climbed the corporate ladder, or created the life we wanted through sheer determination and, yes, a lot of hours. That drive is part of our identity.

But on the other hand, we know something's wrong.

We see the Instagram posts about boundaries. We read the articles about burnout. We watch other women seemingly juggling it all with grace while we're drowning in our to-do lists. So we start to feel ashamed of what we think makes us successful.

The Secret Shame Spiral

The hiding makes everything worse – just like any secret behaviour does. When you're sneaking work like it's contraband, you lose all accountability.

There's no one to say, "Hey, maybe answering emails at 11 PM isn't sustainable." There's no one to help you see that working through lunch every single day isn't actually making you more productive.

You start to believe you're the only one working this hard. Everyone else seems to have it figured out, right?

They're posting their weekend brunches while you're catching up on proposals. They're talking about their evening yoga classes while you're wondering when you last left the office before dark.

The isolation becomes part of the problem. You tell yourself you can't complain because you "chose this life." You can't ask for help because admitting how much you're working feels like admitting you're failing at the whole "having it all" thing.

The Wisdom in the Shame

What if that shame you're feeling is actually your wisdom talking?

Your gut knows something's off. Your body is sending you signals that this pace isn't sustainable. Your relationships are showing strain. Your creativity is suffering because you're always in execution mode, never in thinking mode.

The problem isn't that you work hard – it's that you're medicating the discomfort with more work instead of addressing what's actually broken.

• Maybe it's the systems that have you reinventing the wheel every time you take on a new project.
• Maybe it's the boundaries that let everyone else's urgencies become your emergencies.
• Maybe it's the perfectionism that has you redoing work that was already good enough.
• Or maybe it's the belief that your worth is tied to how busy you are.

What If You Opened the Door to Your Workaholic Closet?

Imagine what would happen if you stopped hiding how much you work. Not to wear it like a badge of honour, but to get honest about what's really going on.

What if you told someone – your partner, a friend, a coach – exactly how many hours you worked last week? What if you admitted that you check email before your feet hit the floor in the morning? What if you confessed that you're exhausted but don't know how to stop?

The relief might surprise you. So might the support.

Because here's the thing: you're not the only one. That woman who seems to have perfect work-life balance? She might be hiding her own version of overwork. That entrepreneur who posts about her morning routine? She might be starting her day at 4 AM to fit it all in.

The Real Work Begins

Getting out of the workaholic closet isn't about working less overnight.

It's about getting honest enough to see what's really driving all those hours. It's about having someone in your corner who can help you untangle the systems, beliefs, and habits that have you trapped in busy work instead of focused on what actually moves the needle.

It's about realising that your worth isn't measured in hours logged, and your success doesn't require you to sacrifice your sanity.

The women who truly "have it all"? They're not working fewer hours because they're more talented or lucky. They're working smarter because they've done the hard work of figuring out what actually matters.

Ready to Stop Hiding?

If you're nodding along to this article, knowing it's time to break free from the exhausting cycle of overwork and secret hustle, I'd love to help.

I've developed a framework that helps ambitious women like you achieve more by doing less, without sacrificing the success you've worked so hard to build.

Book a consultation with me HERE and we'll:
• Uncover what's really driving your overwork patterns
• Identify your biggest time and energy drains
• Create a personalised roadmap to help you work smarter, not longer
• Design systems that support your success without sacrificing your sanity

You deserve to be both successful AND sane - and you don't have to choose between the two.