The Fear You're Not Naming is Running Your Business (And How to Finally Face It)

I just signed up for another half-marathon, like I do every year, to get the early-early-bird special – it's the rooster special 😉.

But this time I nearly didn't.

Why? Because I'm getting slower.

Instead of my times improving for the past two years, they've been on the decline. Shock, horror, I know. As I get older, I'm getting slower.

And it's not just running where this shows up.

The Fear Behind the Fear

Recently, I read something where a coach said, 'There is no such thing as fear of failure', and I thought, 'Hang on, yes there is – I'm scared of looking a fool when I give workshops that no one turns up to'.
And then I realised. They're right.

I'm not afraid of failing – my real fear comes from what I make the 'failure' mean. The fear behind the fear.

Exhibit A: I will look like a fool talking to myself on Zoom.

Exhibit B: I'm not as fast a runner as I used to be. The only way is downhill, and it's not in a good way!

As a coach, I always know to ask my client what they're really afraid of – as a human, I sometimes forget to ask myself the same question. Though these days I catch myself faster.

Where Unnamed Fears Show Up in Your Business

The thing is, I see this pattern of avoidance everywhere in the businesses I work with.

The talented consultant who won't raise her rates because she's "afraid clients will leave" - but when we dig deeper, she's really afraid it means she's greedy.

The business owner who keeps putting off hiring help because she's "afraid of the cost" - but underneath, she's terrified that if someone else can do what she does, maybe she doesn't bring anything unique to the table.

The entrepreneur who won't launch that new program because she's "afraid it won't sell" - but what she's really afraid of is that it means she doesn't have what it takes.

See the pattern?

We tell ourselves surface-level fears that sound rational and reasonable. But underneath? There's almost always a deeper fear about what it means about us.

And here's the kicker: as long as you're running from the fear behind the fear, you'll keep avoiding the very things that could move your business forward.

The Real Cost of Avoiding Your Fears

Because here's what happens when you don't shine that light: you keep not signing up, not launching, not putting yourself out there. And six months from now, you're in the exact same place, wondering why nothing's changed.

You stay stuck at the same revenue because you haven't raised your rates.

You stay exhausted and overwhelmed because you haven't hired help.

You stay invisible because you haven't put that program out there.

And the whole time, you think you're being "careful" or "strategic" or "waiting for the right time."

But really? You're just running from a fear you haven't named yet.

The irony is that the unnamed fear has WAY more power over you than the named one. It's like that monster in the corner - as long as you don't look at it directly, it can be as big and terrifying as your imagination wants to make it.

What Happens When You Face Your Fears Directly

Asking yourself what you're really afraid of gives you clear insight into what's actually going on instead of feeling like your only option is to run from the big scary monster in the corner.

Answering that question for yourself can be like turning on the light and finding out the terrifying monster was just your jacket hanging on the door.

Suddenly, it's not this massive, insurmountable thing anymore. It's just... a jacket. A thought. A story you've been telling yourself.

And once you see it clearly, you can decide what to do about it.

Maybe the fear is valid and there's something you need to prepare for.

Maybe it's completely unfounded and you can let it go.

Maybe there's a worst-case scenario you need to plan for, and once you do, the fear loses its grip.

But you can't do any of that while you're still running.

The Pattern I See Most Often in Overwhelmed Business Owners

In my years of coaching overwhelmed business owners, here's what I've noticed: the fears that keep us stuck are almost never the surface fear – they’re the fear behind the fear.

They're about worthiness.

They're about whether we're "enough."

They're about what it will mean about us if we try and it doesn't work out perfectly.

The business owner who's afraid to raise her rates isn't really afraid of losing clients - she's afraid it means she's selfish for wanting more.

The entrepreneur who won't delegate isn't really afraid of the cost - she's afraid that being replaceable in the day-to-day means she's not essential anywhere.

The consultant who won't launch isn't really afraid the program won't sell - she's afraid it means she doesn't have value to offer.

And here's what makes this particularly insidious: these deeper fears are often so automatic, so much a part of our internal dialogue, that we don't even realise they're running the show.

We just know we feel resistance. We just know we keep putting it off. We just know something doesn't feel right.

But we don't stop to ask why.

How to Uncover Your Real Fears (The Question That Changes Everything)

Next time you find yourself avoiding something or hesitating to hit 'send' on that email, register for that event, or put yourself out there – pause and ask: What am I really afraid of?

Not "Am I afraid?" – you already know the answer to that one.

Ask: "What specifically am I making this mean about me?"

Then keep asking "and what would that mean?" until you hit something that makes you go "oh... THAT'S what this is really about."

My Fear: The Half-Marathon

When I asked myself that about the half-marathon, here's what I discovered: I was afraid that getting slower meant I couldn't do as much as I used to. That my best days were behind me.

But here's the thing – I'm still running half-marathons in my late 50s. Just slower.

And when I looked at it that way, the fear lost its grip.

The slower times don't mean I'm past it. They don't mean I should quit. They just mean I'm getting older - which, last time I checked, is the only alternative to not being here at all.

Once you name the real fear, you can test it against reality. You can challenge it. You can prepare for it. You can survive it.

And more often than not, you realise it was just your jacket hanging on the door all along.

Moving Forward: From Avoidance to Action

I signed up for the half-marathon. Because showing up matters more than how fast I cross the finish line. Always has.

What are you not signing up for because you haven't asked yourself what you're really afraid of?

What's the thing you've been putting off, avoiding, or telling yourself you'll do "when the time is right"?

Maybe it's time to turn on the light and see what's really there.

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