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Boundaries are for you, not against someone else...

 

Givers need to set limits because takers rarely do – Rachel Wolchin


I hear a lot from my clients about how they struggle to have boundaries in their life. Boundaries become relevant when managing our time predominantly because we don’t have any – we have our day planned and someone asks us to do something, so we drop everything.


Often, we experience boundary violations because we have not taken care of ourselves and protected our boundaries. We blame the other person, but we are the ones who have created the situation by ignoring our own boundaries or failing to make them.


Some of us don’t want to set boundaries because we don’t want to risk losing relationships. We’re afraid that if we take care of ourselves and tell the truth, we might make the other person angry. So we say yes when we want to say no and end up resentful. Most of us don’t honour our own boundaries because we are afraid of how it’s going to make other people feel, but what if that's not our responsibility?


In Henry Cloud’s book Boundaries, we’re taught that we must love and honour ourselves enough to tell the people in our lives the truth and to set proper boundaries. This isn’t just for us; it’s for the sake of the person doing the violating. Often, this person is unaware of how we’re feeling and by that stage, we’re usually aggravated...


So, where in your life could you benefit from creating some boundaries around your time? How would your life be different if you adhered to your new boundaries?


Remember, the only people who get upset about you setting boundaries are the ones who were benefiting from you having none – source unknown.


How valuable would it be to learn how to easily create boundaries in your life so you no longer drop your priorities for everyone else's?  Book some time with me, and we can explore how working with me can help.

 

 

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