Addicted to Work: When Ambition Stops Being a Choice

Do you remember the old Robert Palmer song Addicted to Love?

I work with a lot of women who are addicted to work.

Not in a chaotic or obvious way.
In a socially rewarded way.

These are capable, responsible women. The ones who follow through.
The ones people rely on.
The ones who are praised for how much they can handle.

Why So Many High-Achieving Women Struggle to Stop Working

A university study in the US found that a large percentage of people who won the lottery stayed in the workforce.

Not because they needed the money.

But because:

• Their jobs defined who they were
• They couldn’t imagine doing anything else
• The idea of not working felt deeply uncomfortable
• Work justified their existence: I work, therefore I am

This isn’t about loving your job.
It’s about identity.

And I see this same dynamic constantly in my work with high-achieving women.

The Hidden Cost of Being “Responsible” and “Capable”

This addiction doesn’t show up as obsession.

It shows up as:
• Responsibility
• Reliability
• Being the one who always follows through

Most of the women I work with don’t think of themselves as addicted to work
.
They think of themselves as capable.

And they are.

That’s what makes this pattern so hard to see.

When Work Stops Being a Choice

The issue isn’t how much you work.

It’s what happens to your sense of self when you don’t.

When work becomes the place you go to feel steady, needed, or worthwhile, stopping doesn’t feel like rest.

It feels like something is wrong.

This is the moment where work stops being a choice.
You’re no longer asking:
“Do I want to work?”

You’re working because not working exposes discomfort you’d rather avoid.

That’s the difference between ambition and compulsion.

You can be driven without using work to justify your existence.

A Disruptive Question Worth Sitting With

Instead of trying to fix this with better boundaries or another schedule tweak, start here:

When you consider doing less, what shows up first?

Not the explanation.
Not the rationalisation.

The feeling.

That’s the part worth paying attention to.

Why “Doing Less” Isn’t a Time Management Problem

If work has been doing more than paying the bills -
if it’s been steadying you, organising you, giving you a sense of who you are –

then doing less won’t be solved by:

• Better boundaries
• A new planner
• More discipline

It requires a different kind of work.

Not more effort.
More honesty.

That’s where real sustainability actually begins.